This all started way back in the 1950′s. Everybody was all up-in-arms over Elvis Presley because of the whole pelvis thing. Parents everywhere were flipping out because they thought he was singing about sex. Fast forward to the Beatles, after the big to do about being “more popular than Jesus Christ.” Parents flipped out because they thought The Beatles were writing songs about drugs. Then eventually, they flipped out at Kiss and Mötley Crüe for having hidden satanic chants in their songs. They, sometimes, even claimed that you could hear the messages if you played the record backwards. They flipped out at Judas Priest for having subliminal messages about suicide. And they went berserk about grunge music, because Nirvana was just angry noise. Well, not my parents, actually. They were super into grunge, but I digress.
I know that when I say what I’m about to say, I’m going to come off like those generations of cranky people who disapproved of the youth’s music. Here goes:
Today’s music SUCKS. It’s not even music. Do you know what the difference is between Elvis and Ke$ha? Elvis actually sang. The difference between Mötley Crüe and Chris Brown is that they actually tried to dress up their lyrics with some metaphors. And maybe Nirvana was pretty noisy, but at least they made noise with actual instruments. Let’s look at the worst aspects of today’s music:
Allow me to elaborate. By now, you’ve all heard about auto-tune. It’s a technology that enables producers to correct poorly sung notes in the studio, in order to make a singer’s performance sound better. Here’s the shocking part: I don’t hate the technology. I think you can generate some pretty cool effects if you use it the right way. We all know that Cher song. I don’t even have to tell you which one it is, you’re already humming it in your head and thinking of her snappy vocal line. We didn’t even know what auto-tune was, back then, and we all thought it was cool.
Here’s the problem. It used to be used as an effect, or in some cases, a crutch. We’re so far beyond that now. We’re at a point where the pop singer like Ke$ha sings one take while the producer draws in the melody with auto-tune. Voilà - perfectly sung vocal track. So not only did she not write the song, but she didn’t even really sing it. She enunciated it while a computer sang it for her. I realize that Elvis wasn’t a writer either, but damn that guy could sing. Wouldn’t you rather listen to a great singer than a someone using a computer as a voice?
Carelessly Overt Lyrics
Like, seriously, do writers even try anymore?
“You like to drink? Yeah
So do we, yeah
Get more bottles, yeah,
bring ‘em to me, yeah
Hold your glasses up, people everywhere
Now everybody put your hands in the air”
-Yeah 3x, Chris Brown
I realize that everybody was pissed off about Mötley Crüe potentially having hidden satanic chants in their music, but can’t we all give them the benefit of the doubt that they actually tried to lyrically veil them?
“He’ll be the risk in the kiss
Might be anger on your lips
Might run scared for the door
But in seasons of wither
We’ll stand and deliver
Be strong and laugh and
SHOUT SHOUT SHOUT
Shout at the devil”
-Shout at the Devil, Mötley Crüe
I’m not saying these are Shakespearean sonnets or anything, but at least they were more lyrical than “You like to drink? So do we.”
Doesn’t listening to this:
Just make you want to listen to this?:
Of the two videos you just watched, which one sounds more like noise?
Give me Nikki Sixx over Nicki Minaj every day of the week, and twice on Sundays.